How to Choose Your Bridal Party, Without Any Drama.

How to Choose Your Bridal Party, Without Any Drama.

The bridal party you choose should be your biggest cheerleaders, supporters, and solution solvers on your wedding day. But how do you pick the perfect crew?

For some lucky few, picking who to choose to be in their bridal party is a doddle. Because it’s been set in stone since college! There’s that best friend since high school, the sister, the college roommate from heaven and that sweet guy from some summer job. It’s a dream team. And there’s no question of anyone else being added to the squad. But for others, the selection process is not so simple.

Deciding who, and who not to choose to be in a bridal party can actually be pretty stressful, and daunting. Because nobody wants their feelings hurt, and as the marrying couple, you would like to have the best experience on your wedding day. i.e., zero drama, please!

So how do you balance responsibility, budget, and the feelings of your loved ones. And successfully choose the best darn bridal party ever? Today, we’re going to explore exactly how, while also answering why the perfect wedding party is so important.

How to Choose the Bridal Party

Size Matters

On average, a bridal party in the US has around 3-5 members. And the size of that group often depends on the size of the wedding. For example, if you’re throwing a celebration for roughly 50 to 60 guests, and you have more than 5 in your bridal party, that’s going to feel a little off. Especially if your partner has an equal amount on their side, as your wedding party will end up totaling 1/5 of all the guests! On the flip side, if you’re having a larger wedding, with 150+ guests, then have as big a bridal party as you want!

The only caveat to this is that bigger isn’t always better. It may seem pretty cool to have 10 bridesmaids, and 10 groomsmen, for example. But just think of having to organize all of those guys! Not to mention the cost of finding them all outfits and gifts etc. Plus, are all 10 of these people, your favorite people in the world? Probably not. Choose a smaller bridal party, and you’ll only have the cream of the crop in your squad.

Photos by @AllysaHunterphoto

Family First

When the time comes to actually choose the members of your bridal party, a great place to start is with family. Those close family members who know you better than anyone else in the world, and will always have your back. Be that a sister, a cousin, or even a brother. We’ll get on to it in more detail later, but if you’re a bride, having your bro’ as a ‘bridesman‘ is such a sweet gesture. And this is equally true for our grooms who are close to their sister’s, and would like a groomslady on their big day. No matter the gender, family should always come first.

Do You Trust Them?

In a crisis, besides your partner, who do you call? Who always knows what to say when you’re feeling emotional? Who is never late? Hopefully, after asking yourself those questions, you have at least one person in mind. And ideally, you can pick 3-4 people in your life who you know will always be there when things get rough.

The bridal party members you choose may not need to actually help you plan your wedding directly. But they will be involved in the process, and they play a huge part in your big day. Therefore, if ditsy Dave is forever missing in action, and Laura’s only response to a crisis is to cry. They may not be the right person for the group, harsh as it may sound.


two women laughing wearing fringe robes

Can We All Just Get Along?

It would be unfair to say that the guys you choose to be in your bridal party have to be best friends. Because it doesn’t always work out that way. But, they really do need to get along. The last thing you want to worry about as you’re walking down the aisle, is why Susan is giving daggers at Caroline. Or if Robert is going to tell Lisa exactly what he thinks of her after one too many champagne toasts! No, you need a wedding party that is friendly, dependable and minus anyone who might cause offense.

Why Not Choose a Bridesman/Groomslady to be in Your Bridal Party?

Not all girls have only female friends. And not all guys have only male friends. It’s normal, and there is no reason why it shouldn’t be reflected in who you choose to be in your bridal party. Especially if you feel your male friends tick a lot more of the above boxes, than your female ones. Why wouldn’t you choose them?! A mix of bridesmen and bridesmaids could actually create a really harmonious group dynamic.

Ditching gender-specific rules can also open up numerous other areas on your big day, and the journey to it. For instance, maybe a ‘typical’ bridal shower isn’t really your thing, and actually, you’d rather something slightly less pink, and a lot more inclusive. Maybe consider a coed wedding shower? And get the whole gang involved.

They Asked Me, So, I Better Ask Them

woman smiling wearing fringe robe

When tasked with the job of choosing a bridal party, there should be no tit-for-tat. Just because Riley selected you to be one of her bridesmaids last year, it doesn’t give her an automatic invite onto your squad. And they shouldn’t expect it either. If someone does have a problem with not being included, then be honest with them. Explain that on your wedding day, you want the people you feel most emotionally connected to right now to be by your side. And that they are not the only ones to be left out.

Feelings are tough to manage, and are often the reason someone ends up choosing 10+ bridesmaids, for example. Because they feel it would be better not to leave anyone out, and risk making anyone upset. Which is totally fair. But, just remember, this is your big day. So do things, and make decisions that make you happy. Otherwise, you’ll look back 1,2, 10 years down the line and regret the spur-of-the-moment choices you made.

Now you’ve chosen the perfect bridal party, let’s find them some robes to wear during your wedding morning preparations! At Camas Lily Co. we create ready-to-ship and made-to-order bridesmaids robes, dresses, and accessories crafted from quality, vintage fabric. Fabric that would have been thrown into a big hole in the ground. But is now being given a new lease of life as a garment to be loved long after the big day.

We invite you to browse our ready-to-ship robes collection, and maybe pick out some chic scrunchies for your bridal party. And if you would like something more custom, please feel free to get in touch with your request via our contact page.

 Styled Shoot Credits

Photographer: @alyssahunterphoto 

Florals + Model:

Stationary + Model: @golden_summer_designs 

Model: @ontheroxxx

Model + Designer: @batoutofjail

Glassware: @tylerbarrydesign 

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